• Home
  • About
    • Authors
  • Articles
    • Archives
    • Chaplain
    • Crime & Controversy
    • Community
    • Cop Humor
    • Editorial
    • Op-ed
    • Gear & Technology
    • Investigations
    • Laws & Legal
    • Leadership
    • News
    • Officer Down
    • On Duty
    • Tactics
  • Network
    • Illinois Network
    • Minneapolis Network
    • Tulsa Network
    • Wauwatosa Network
    • Learn more
  • Training
  • Officer Privacy
  • Jobs
  • Contact
No Result
View All Result
Law Officer
Law Officer
No Result
View All Result

I Will Follow You Wherever You Go

September 3, 2020
Tim BarfieldbyTim Barfield
Share and speak up for justice, law & order...

House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD. Proverbs 19:14

Dedicated to all those spouses and family members who support their officer in their daily pursuit of being the line between chaos and peace.


We were high school sweethearts, introduced by steady friends.  I was already aiming for a career in law enforcement and she was told not to date me by friends.  But I was immediately drawn to this girl and we were married before her nineteenth birthday, me not yet 21.

She would help me study for my college classes while she was learning what was demanded of cops, although I am sure she did not fully understand.  Barely married a year, I took my first police job in a small village in Ohio.  This cop life had just begun, and I had a better opportunity on a bigger department.  As we talked about it, she promised me, “I will follow you wherever you go.”  A year later another opportunity about an hour away from family and we already had our first child.  I explained “better opportunity and way more pay.”

She followed.

Now she was learning a lot more of what was expected of a cop’s wife (spouse), missed holidays, birthdays, and events.

She followed.

She had to make friends and tend to a growing family, more opportunities opened for me at my job.  Specialized units, court, changing work schedules, shift parties and all the other things that make up a cop’s life and she followed.  These challenges brought on discussions about how difficult it is in the life of our police family.  Yes, a police family because it is not just the officer that lives with this but the entire family.  No one comes away unscathed and neither did we.  We struggled at points and strived to make it work.  Through all the discussions she reminded me of her promise, “I will follow you wherever you go.”  And she did.

She got rather good at the police wife thing.  Adjusting on the fly because of job responsibilities, living on a cop’s salary, learning to make plans without me, callouts in the middle of the night and keeping kids quiet during the day when I was sleeping.  These are just a few of the things that cop families and spouses need to adjust for.  Because we were required to live in the community we worked in, she learned not to be introduced to people who would so hello to me in public because I couldn’t remember if the encounter of meeting them was good or bad.  Everyone knows the cops but we often struggle with the numerous people who meet us because we engage so many.

She really set herself apart by taking it all in stride.  I am not saying it was easy for her because I learned it was not, but she made me a promise to follow and she did.  It was her strength in submission to my calling that encouraged me to be better.

We eventually had five children, growing responsibilities as I moved up and a changing city.  When able we moved to a safer city that did not allow me to eat with the family regularly.  This would make for special treats where they would meet me in the one safe restaurants in town.  Unfortunately, that  would often mean interrupted meals and leftovers dropped at the station but she endured.

We began to speak of how we would spend our twilight years when I was all done.  And those days were closer than they were farther.  It is hard on a cop’s salary to make it year after year, but we lived smart and put money away for that time.  I was closing in on my final years at the department I had been at for 32 years.  We still had two kids under 18 and needed the healthcare so when an opportunity came along for me to lead a department back where we grew up, we talked.  Part of our plan was to move back to that quieter community, so this opportunity seemed to be a perfect match.  We talked and again she reminded me, and she followed.

This new position meant more public events and recognition.  Lots of hard work and although the hours were more normal, the work was never ending but we had a plan.  One more kid to go, make it to 65 and we would embark on our cherished retirement time together.

It would be my time to follow.

Several weeks ago, after a battle with cancer we thought she had won a couple years ago, we learned that it had returned and that it was well advanced.  We cancelled our family vacation and we brought her home where she recently passed.

This is my tribute to my perfect police wife.  This woman that “followed”, allowing me to become the man and police officer I am.  That she followed me to different locations, is nothing compared to the fact that she allowed me to do this job, without guilt.  Do I have regrets?  Only if I live with the ability to see the future.  I would not trade her support, encouragement, praise and quite submission for anything but I will miss her with all my heart.  Soon it will be my time to follow her and we will be joined again.

Be safe


 

On behalf of the entire team at Law Officer, we pass on our sincere condolences to Chief Tim Barfield and his family. 


Share and speak up for justice, law & order...
Tags: cherishfollowhonormemorialpolice wifesupporttim barfieldwife
Tim Barfield

Tim Barfield

Tim Barfield is in his 35th year as a police officer. He started as a police officer in a rural village before transferring to an inner ring suburb of Cleveland, Ohio. He spent 32 years in that department gaining experience in many areas of police work. In 2014, he accepted a position as police chief for another department. He is a husband, father and grandfather who has a love for police work and police officers with a goal of helping them succeed in a great profession. His responsibilities and desires have included patrol, traffic, DARE, SWAT, training and supervision. He is a member of the International Law Enforcement Educators and Trainers Association. He continues to learn and instruct on subjects with an emphasis on awareness, police survival mindset and ethics.

Related Posts

A "Welcome to George Floyd Square" sign at the intersection of East 38th Street and Chicago Avenue in March 2021. (Lorie Shaull/Flickr)

Scraps of paper left at George Floyd Square being preserved for future memorial

April 25, 2022
Katie sketching her father's name at the National Law Enforcement Memorial.

Goodyear to Partner with the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund for Traffic Safety Programs

April 20, 2022

Create Meaningful Change for Cops in Your State

February 16, 2022
Source: David Clode, unsplash

Columnist says we should stop giving military medals to “warrior” cops

April 4, 2021
Thin Blue Line Flag

The Thin Blue Line flag: A symbol of honor—and religious ceremony

April 1, 2021

Sisters honor law enforcement with music video

January 12, 2021
Load More

Latest Articles

Amy Coney Barrett

Left-wing extremists illegally protest outside Amy Coney Barrett’s home

January 30, 2023
Clarence CJ Williams

Georgia officer dies from medical emergency during foot chase

January 30, 2023
Lisa Marie Presley

Lisa Marie Presley on opioids, lost 50 pounds weeks prior to death

January 30, 2023
Preston Hemphill

Sixth Memphis police officer suspended in Tyre Nichols case

January 30, 2023
Christopher Hubbard

Ohio gunman sentenced to 56 years in prison for shootout with police

January 30, 2023
Stetson Bennett

Georgia Bulldogs star Stetson Bennett arrested in Dallas

January 30, 2023
Load More

Weekly E-Newsletter

Subscribe—and get the latest news and editorials direct from Law Officer each week!

[newsletter_form type="minimal"]

JOIN THE FIGHT

BE COURAGEOUS

FIND MORE…

Law Officer

© 2021 LawOfficer.com

LawOfficer.com

  • Home
  • About
  • Advertise
  • Privacy Policy
  • Corrections
  • Contact

Speak up for justice, law & order

No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • About
    • Authors
  • Articles
    • Archives
    • Chaplain
    • Crime & Controversy
    • Community
    • Cop Humor
    • Editorial
    • Op-ed
    • Gear & Technology
    • Investigations
    • Laws & Legal
    • Leadership
    • News
    • Officer Down
    • On Duty
    • Tactics
  • Network
    • Illinois Network
    • Minneapolis Network
    • Tulsa Network
    • Wauwatosa Network
    • Learn more
  • Training
  • Officer Privacy
  • Jobs
  • Contact

© 2021 LawOfficer.com