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An Open Letter to Officers & Their Families

April 17, 2014
byLaw Officer
Share and speak up for justice, law & order...

You might be wondering what right I have to address you, or what I might be able add to your already vast knowledge and life experience when it comes to law enforcement. Before you judge me, please read this article in its entirety. You might find that I offer one tiny perspective on officer safety that you just might have forgotten—so please, keep reading.

I don't come to you with any tactical experience and I definitely don't come to you with any practical law enforcement experience—except for the fact that I am married to an amazing police officer who, one year ago this month, was shot in the line of duty. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Overzealous?

If you asked my parents, they would think it laughable that I would have any perspective on "officer safety." They spent most of my teenage years worrying about me. I wasn't a rebel; I didn't have the wrong group of friends. I just had no common sense or awareness of my surroundings. I could end up halfway across the state, heading in the wrong direction and not even notice (I called it adventure; they called it putting gray hairs on their heads).

To add to my amazing resume, I was "that" wife. What do I mean? When my husband told me he was leaving his 10-year career as a facility manager for a mega church to go to the police academy, I was very supportive. However, I thought he was a little over-the-top when it came to his awareness and planning for any possibility. When we were first married he told me we needed more than one contingency plan if our house were broken into—e.g., whether to grab the gun, where to hide, etc. I was born and raised with my head in the sand when it came to crime, so this was very foreign to me. Again, I was supportive, but never really fully understood his intensity or his passion.

When my husband entered the academy, he was clearly pursuing the life he was created to live. He was absolutely relentless in his pursuit of wrongdoing, crushing evil in the streets and putting criminals behind bars. When he was hired on full time in a relatively quiet, affluent small city, I was thrilled for him. He was so happy and passionate about his job. Law enforcement was clearly the highlight of David's life.

I heard daily about what he was learning as far as being safe on the streets, aware of his surroundings and always being prepared for "the worst." On the outside I was very supportive and I loved being married to a police officer. He was so handsome in his uniform and seemed to be making friends (and a good name for himself) within the department. But on the inside I laughed a little at his passion and worried that his over-zealous tendencies might make him a joke within the police community.

After all, it was a small, quiet city, not known for its crime rate. Yet he went to work every night as if he was headed into battle: drawing his weapon several times in front of the mirror, making sure each item on his duty belt was placed with care in case he needed to draw his gun quickly, telling me and each of our three children that he loved us, and hugging and kissing us as if it were the last time he would see us. To a degree, I'm sure that brushing off his passion was a way of protecting myself from thinking about what might happen. What wife wants to (or should) think about the danger their husband intentionally puts himself in every shift as a law enforcement officer?

All of this changed for me the night I got the call that my husband had been shot seven times during a "normal" traffic stop.

During the hours that followed the shooting, I thanked God that my husband took officer safety to heart. I thanked God that he hung on every word of every instructor in the academy. I thanked God that he annoyed all of his instructors with his endless questions. I thanked God for all the times he had mentally prepared for the worst to happen. I thanked God because during those moments when I thought he was just having fun, playing pretend hero, he was actually preparing for an event that could—and actually did—happen.

My husband is alive today and came home to me and our children because he continually prepared for the worst. And when the worst came his way, he was ready.

As the weeks and months passed after the shooting, I listened to many officers who came by our house tell David how proud they were of how he handled an extremely deadly situation. I heard many officers tell him that others probably wouldn't have survived a similar ambush. The perp shot at David more than a dozen times; seven of those rounds struck him. Despite the intensity of the attack, David was able to return fire and head for cover, all in just a few seconds.

I have a very different perspective now. Instead of taking David's passion for granted, I cherish it and I'm extremely grateful for how seriously he took his training. I'm grateful he mentally prepared for an ambush and was ready when someone tried to take his life. I'm grateful he never went to work without being completely prepared for anything that might come his way. And, I'm also truly thankful that he kisses and hugs each of us the way he does. Because now I know for a fact that it really could be the last time he does.

Ask Yourself

So, I have a few questions for you.

  • Are you prepared each and every day for the worst? Do you go to work with the ability to face anything that comes your way? Or have you become complacent? Have your years of experience and familiarity with the job caused you to grow stale?
  • Do you think about which side you approach a vehicle on every traffic stop?
  • Are you situationally aware and continually ask yourself, "What's important now?" Or do you just do it the way you have done it for years because that's just the way you do it?
  • Do you fail to click in that seatbelt each and every time you get in your car because you've not done it for years and you're still alive and kicking?
  • Do you wear your vest every time you go out as a police officer?
  • Do you watch your speed and drive appropriately in all weather and traffic conditions?
  • Do you think about your family each and every time you approach a seemingly harmless person on the street?
  • Are you and your spouse aware of the five tenets of Below 100? They are: Wear Your Belt, Wear Your Vest, Watch Your Speed, WIN—What's Important Now? and Remember: Complacency Kills. If not, check out www.below100.com and live your professional life by these five simple tenets. They could save your life.

What right do I have as the 34-year-old wife of a police officer who has only been on active duty for four years to insert myself in the lives of officers everywhere, some of whom may have worked the streets longer than I have been alive?

It's because my perspective has completely changed. I didn't mean to become "that person" who judges law enforcement, but I now see things differently. Since the shooting, I have witnessed officers taking unnecessary chances like letting people walk up to their patrol car window and approaching vehicles without due regard for what is taking place inside. My thoughts? Crime doesn't discriminate. Do these officers have a family at home? Could their simple lack of tactical awareness cost them their life? Thankfully, the answer so far has been "no" but what about tomorrow when those same choices could result in tragedy?

Is it worth going without your seatbelt or driving too fast for conditions? Is it worth not wearing your body armor because it's too uncomfortable? Is it worth turning your spouse into a widow or leaving your kids without a parent because "you've always done it that way and it's never hurt?"

Change Your View

So as you move forward, please, rethink your normal. Take a few moments to revisit how you view your job. This world doesn't have enough sheepdogs—you are the few and the brave that young families like mine depend on for protection. Don't let the quiet "norm" get to you. You could be the one who pulls over a small truck with a seemingly harmless middle-aged man behind the wheel for a minor tag violation. You could be that officer who sets him off enough to jump out of his truck and open fire on you. Are you prepared? Have you planned for the worst?

My husband is alive today because he never grew complacent. He was ready when trouble came his way. Just because statistics tell us that most officers will never be shot at on the job doesn't mean that you won't be. You owe it to your family, your friends and yourself to maintain awareness and plan for the worst.


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Law Officer

Law Officer

Law Officer is the only major law enforcement publication and website owned and operated by law enforcement—for law enforcement and supporters of justice, law, and order. This unique facet makes Law Officer much more than just a publishing company, but a true advocate for the law enforcement profession.

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