NEWPORT, Ore. – As police across the US modify their procedures while maintaining levels of service due to COVID-19, there is one Oregon police department — and likely many others — dealing with 911 calls for an entirely different type of “emergency.” Residents with no sensibilities are calling because they’ve run out of toilet paper.
The Newport Police Department used social media asking residents to stop using the 911 system due to a toilet paper shortage.
“It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this,” the police wrote. “Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance.”
After panic shoppers hoarded toilet paper over the weekend, it is unavailable at many stores and supermarkets. Moreover, many sellers on Amazon are also out of stock.
Trying to add levity for the situation, Newport police offered some friendly tips for those that are dealing with the shortage.
“In fact, history offers many other options for you in your time of need if you cannot find a roll of your favorite soft, ultra plush two-ply citrus scented tissue,” the police wrote.
“Seamen used old rope and anchor lines soaked in salt water. Ancient Romans used a sea sponge on a stick, also soaked in salt water. We are a coastal town. We have an abundance of salt water available. Sea shells were also used.”
Furthermore, they suggested using newspapers, cloth rags, etc. in case of emergency.
“Be resourceful,” police wrote. “Be patient. There is a TP shortage. This too shall pass. Just don’t call 9-1-1. We cannot bring you toilet paper.”
