CLEARWATER, Fla. — As long as drug users have been wearing jeans, cops have been hearing “these pants aren’t mine” when finding narcotics in their pockets. Now a Florida man had to alter the time-honored lame excuse as authorities discovered meth and cocaine packaged around the man’s “package.” So rather than disowning his penis, the suspect simply said the drugs did not belong to him.
Deputies of the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office stopped a vehicle that was operating without its lights on at 4 a.m. last Saturday in Clearwater, the New York Post reported.
Patrick Florence, 34, was riding in the passenger seat of the vehicle. Deputies searched the automobile and discovered a gun beneath Florence’s seat. As a result, they proceeded to search him.
Upon searching Florence, they found the narcotics “wrapped around his penis” in two plastic baggies, according to the police report.
Florence “stated the package wrapped around his penis was not his,” Deputy Blake wrote in the report, according to the Post.
The suspect with a “wrapped package” is now facing four felony charges, which include possession of cocaine, meth, ammunition and a firearm, the Smoking Gun reported.
Florence’s criminal record reveals 20 prior arrests for drug-related crimes.
According to Fox News, the driver also has legal trouble. He was arrested for DUI and possession of marijuana.
