In my last article, I wrote about the Line of Duty Death of my childhood friend and partner. I mentioned that I made a conscious decision not to drink until after the funeral. I knew that I needed to be strong and focused for the family. What I didn’t realize back then; is that it was a subtle sign I already had a drinking problem.
Normal Drinkers, referred to as “Normies” by those of us in recovery never have to adjust their drinking for different situations. Normies never stop drinking or pause drinking to prove they can. Sound familiar? I hope not, but if it does, there is a solution.
In 1935 Alcoholics Anonymous was formed by two men in Akron, Ohio. Bill W, a New York Stockbroker, and Dr. Bob S. an Akron surgeon had a small meeting. These two men, affectionately referred to as Bill W. and Dr. Bob founded a program so profound that it is responsible for millions of men and women achieving and maintaining sobriety worldwide. I’m sure neither of those men realized the magnitude of their simple meeting and that what they discussed would still be going on 89 years later.
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous was later created. It is essentially a bible for alcoholics. In this book, we are taught that the one true wish of every alcoholic is to be a Normie. We wish we could drink casually, occasionally, just for fun, not for a reason, not to get rid of a problem, not to decompress from a hard day, not to cope with and drown out bad memories until we can’t remember them anymore.
Spoiler alert, those bad memories always come back someday.
There is a simple test that is posed in this literature. It goes something like this… Walk into a bar, order an alcoholic beverage (pay for it) take one drink, sit it back down on the bar, and walk out. Now if your head just exploded, as mine did the first time I heard that, you might not be a Normie. An alcoholic or problem drinker’s head will explode, not because of the money that was just wasted, but because who in their right mind would waste alcohol like that? Guys like me used to make fun of the guys who didn’t finish their drinks or went home first. I can only imagine exercising that test today, 9 years sober, and I would not be able to taste just one drink of that alcohol and be satisfied. We would be fastening our seatbelts and on a collision course with Last Call.
My allergy to alcohol would once again be revealed.
First Responders have a keen sense of awareness, and we pick up on signs and signals that most civilians don’t. We are taught to trust our gut, and when something doesn’t feel right it’s probably not. I can say the same for alcoholics and Normies. Alcoholics have a different brain, a different thought process, and a different way of viewing and living life. If any of this sounds familiar to you, or you already know but aren’t ready to admit it, I promise you there is a solution.
Everyone’s story is different, everyone’s recovery is different and doesn’t have to be like mine. There are a ton of different ways to deal with it, and not all of them involve Rehab or AA. Trust your gut, and pay attention to the subtle signs, they are there for a reason. Cops are some of the strongest and smartest people there are on the planet, but also the most stubborn.
You will know when it is time, just get out of your own way and get to work.
Hunter Rankin is a Sheriff’s Commander in Arizona with over 24 years experience in law enforcement. He is a graduate of the Northwestern Police School of Staff and Command, Class 453 and the Arizona Leadership Program Class 4. He currently leads the Criminal Investigations Bureau in a medium sized agency. He has command experience in Patrol, Traffic, Training, Dispatch, Internal Affairs and Human Resources. He has 9 years of sobriety from Michael’s House of Palm Springs, CA and Palm Desert Recovery Center in Palm Desert, CA. He is a strong advocate for wellness and recovery in law enforcement.
