In an era dominated by smartphones, the Internet, and text messaging, we’ve lost many small joys that once helped us unwind—from the crazy and quiet moments during a roll call, to the camaraderie of the locker room. But for those of us in law enforcement, there’s one thing that stands out: the incredible importance of checking in with our colleagues and loved ones.
Now, you might be thinking, “I text with my partner all the time!” But research shows that it’s simply not the same. In fact, a study conducted in 2021, reported in The New York Times, examined the effects of brief, regular phone calls on 240 adults. The results were striking, especially for those in high-stress professions like ours.
Those who received calls a few times a week experienced a significant reduction in levels of depression, loneliness, and anxiety—issues that law enforcement officers are all too familiar with. This caught the attention of Dr. Bob Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, who emphasizes the importance of investing time in our most cherished relationships. He argues that these investments can yield tangible effects on our overall well-being, offering a hidden “gold mine of vitality” that often goes unnoticed.
And this is where the “eight-minute catch-up” comes into play.
The concept of the “eight-minute catch-up” is a practical application of this research, and it’s something that can be easily integrated into our daily routines. Whether you’re on a break between calls or just finishing your shift, dedicating short, focused periods to connect with a colleague, friend, or loved one can make all the difference. This approach not only cultivates a sense of closeness and well-being but also addresses the common issue of conversations dragging on past their welcome or abruptly ending—a problem identified in another 2021 study.
By mutually agreeing to an eight-minute time limit beforehand, both parties can engage in a meaningful exchange without overstaying their welcome. This ensures that the time spent together is both beneficial and respected—crucial for those of us who often work long hours and irregular shifts.
In a recent discussion on “A Bit of Optimism,” Simon Sinek delved deep into this topic with his long-time friend, chef, and author Christina Tosi. They explored the significance of asking for help and being there for others—something that resonates deeply within our line of work. Their conversation highlighted a simple yet powerful lesson: the act of reaching out for support is not only normal but also essential for those in demanding roles like ours.
Simon shared a moment of realization when a friend revealed they had been struggling with depression. His immediate response was, “WTF? Why didn’t you call me?” This sparked an eye-opening realization about the subtle ways in which people, especially those in tough professions, ask for help.
“There is no greater honor than to send them a message that says, ‘Do you have eight minutes?’” Christina said.
This phrase has become a code between them, symbolizing a safe space where one can openly express vulnerability and seek comfort—a concept that could be invaluable within our ranks.
At the end of the day, eight minutes of a colleague’s or friend’s time can make all the difference in the world. Best of all, it’s only eight minutes. “Eight minutes! When somebody texts you ‘Do you have eight minutes?’ Any of us can pause for a moment, step out of the squad car, or take a break to talk to a friend in need for eight minutes,” says Simon.
For those of us in law enforcement, where the pressures of the job can sometimes feel overwhelming, this simple practice could be a lifeline. So, the next time you’re feeling the weight of the badge, consider reaching out—because in just eight minutes, you might find the support you didn’t know you needed. 8 minutes is 480 seconds, as you read this, make that call!
Start sharing this phrase with family and friends.
I always have time for you.
Brian T. McVey, MAPP| is a Proud Dad, Author, Former Chicago Police Officer. Brian holds a Masters in Police Psychology from Adler University in Chicago IL. Reach me at [email protected] and ask for 8-minutes of my time.
